well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
