On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
