Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
