I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
