Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
