I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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