just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
