Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
