I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Farmville is her only friend.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
