I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
