How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
