She's JV to your varsity
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
how does that bad decision feel?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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