We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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