we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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