i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
