I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
