You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
