My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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