Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
