I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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