official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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