Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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