I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
