Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
