i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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