I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
