I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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