do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
