I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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