i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
