ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
