would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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