Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He shit in the fireplace
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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