I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
