Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
