nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
wow bdsm is so cute
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
