We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
