"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
