Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize