youre lurking in front of me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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