My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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