id be glad to
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
