I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
