I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
cat food counts as protein by the way
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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