Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
