you would pick up someone in the library
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
