She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize