Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Come share oat with me in your robe
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
