I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize