he shaved USA in his pubs
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
