apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
