It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
