Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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