this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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