I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize