There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
